Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Pope II

And what's more, why did the new pope state the following in his speech: "The fact that the Lord can work and act even with insufficient means consoles me"
Surely, "The Lord" is omnipotent, and therefore the idea that he should ever have "insufficient means" is completely ridiculous?
They should have given me the job - I would never have made such a basic error...

Keith Chegwin

White smoke, new pope, etc. Benedict XVI apparently. Cardinal Schweinhund to anyone who's been reading Steve Bell this week. An "Arch-Conservative". Hates women, gays, and life. Almost certainly a repressed homosexual. The last desperate stand of a desperate superstition, trying to halt the turning tide of rationality? We can but hope. Probably not, though...

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Electile dysfunction and so on

Oh dear. It's all happening, isn't it? Mr Tony shocks the nation by declaring a general election on May 5th. So, let's deal with that first. Has anybody spotted a difference between him and young Mickey Howard, yet? If so, can you let me know, please. Amusingly, today's Guardian had the front page headline: "Blair warns of 'rather nasty rightwing campaign'". I can only assume that's what he's threatening us with himself. So. Why is it thought reasonable that the government in power decides when elections should be held? Why not fixed term parliaments? The Chartists wanted one year - I'm currently inclined to believe that's too long... But fixed term parliaments would also do away with the need for the queen to disolve parliament. Think we live in a democracy? Then why is it necessary for some unelected, in-bred German to appoint the government?
And on the subject of royals, it seems one of them is getting married this weekend. Apparently, I can't go. Even though it's my money that's paid for it. If I'm paying for these useless anachronisms, at least I should be able to get my pound of flesh out of them. I want something approaching value for money...
Finally, it seems the pope has died. Sadly, I've not got round to sending my CV off to the vatican, yet, but it's only a matter of time. The job is surely mine...