I wish I'd written this...

But I didn't. It came from www.wonkette.com.
Nonetheless, I feel fully justified in quoting it, since it's apposite, funny, and probably not read outside the USA. Thus:

"Gipperporn: Four Days In, Reagan Still Deceased #

So glad that the nets are going wall-to-wall with the Reagan stuff for the fourth consecutive day. Otherwise we might forget that he's dead. At this point, however, the strain of keeping the story alive is starting to show. Fox, for instance, has run out of famous Reagan fanatics; this morning they interviewed one of the soldiers guarding the president's casket.

Fox: Did you ever meet Reagan?
Marine (who appears to be approximately 18 years old): Uh, no, sir.
Fox: How much of an honor is it to be doing this duty?
Marine: It's a great honor.

Clearly, things are getting desperate; at some point, they may have to interview someone who didn't like the guy.

And in case you were wondering: Still dead."

Genius, I tell, you, Genius...